Dont go there Hollywood . . .

The last few years have had a growing theme, The Sequel.

Batman, Indiana, Bourne all came back for another pay cheque, as did the Hulk, Fantastic 4 and Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate once again for Disney.

Ill be honest with you, sequels, re-dubs, prequels and spin-offs are really hit and miss. For every Dark Knight (Thank you gods of scheduling for denying Katie Holmes a sequel) or Bourne film there is a Catwoman or Van Wilder II - Rise of Taj . . . *cough cough*was i drunk at the video store that time ? I think so . . .

Its inevitable Hollywood will spin out more crap before your $14.00 movie ticket seemed worth the price. Hell The Kingdom of The Crystal Skill was worth the 70 million to make purely for the term "Nuke the fridge" being added to the Hollywood vernacular.

So whats next ? What cinematic turd of a film will next be showing at a theatre near you . . .

Here are my entries for the "don't go there Hollywood" films i suspect we will look forward to in coming years.

MAD MAX - BEYOND THE BIT BEYOND THUNDERDOME

We came, we saw we conquered beyond thunderdome, now its time to go that little bit further. Mad Max was the film that gave you the first big screen appearance of Mel Gibson (dubbed horribly with an American voice by the way!). Immediate cult classic -spawned two sequels, one good, one not so much.

Logic: You could almost argue that a reboot has been attempted already with this year’s clunker Doomsday. But it’s not really a reboot unless they use the original title!

INDIANA JONES & THE CHASE FOR THE ANCIENT RELIC DESTROYER OF WORLDS IN THE TEMPLE OF LOST SOULS . . . . THAT IS MISSING SOULS OF THE LOST CHILDREN OF THE TEMPLE.

When it comes to Indie flicks, it seems the longer the title the better the flick. Surely this one cant loose. If there was a Hollywood equivalent of a movie share market, id invest into shares on this baby.

301

From the producers of 300, comes 301 . . . Just when you thought 300 flesh destroying Spartans were enough to make you giddy, another turns up . . .

I think this one really explains itself . . .

So Hollywood, try your best and show us what your made of. I would not expect anything less than huge budgets, massive marketing campaigns & big movie stars who are way too over exposed . . . Mr Depp you fall into that category, I almost choked on cornflakes when i was told he was in the running for the next Batman film bad guy!

Classic Rock vs Modern Rock

I don't think a weekend goes by where at some point a classic rock song will be played over the radio and I'm asked, where did rock go wrong ?

This one is a touchy subject, im not aiming to bad mouth any rock that's come out recently, each to there own and to be honest modern rock does have its good points.

This is an argument i give a different answer to however. The question i usually ask back is, "Will the modern rock of today be considered classic rock in the far future ?"

I honestly don't think so, because the way i see it, bands today work differently to how they did in the past. Technology allows a tune being composed to be recorded to near perfection, digital sounding, clean, no mess etc

To some people that's fantastic, to others not so much. Part of the appeal of classic rock was the fact it was dirty rock. I remember one of the old Greenday album's back when they were more grunge than soft rock, during the recording of one of the songs which was recorded in the garage of one of the band members, you could hear a phone ring and a baby cry in the background.

The track was kept as recorded and its just one example of hundreds . . . .

Classic rock also has its stories to go along with the tunes unlike alot of today's rock that just seems to be processed track after track. I remember hearing about one of the Beatles tracks, recording went on into a song while Ringo went to the bathroom and he made it back just in time for his drum intro mid way through the song without missing a beat.

I guess the point i try to make is that its the small things like the above that are missing in modern rock. I know a few weeks back when AC/DC released there new single it immediately felt different to the stuff being released around it . . . kid rock - all summer long ???

If there is one thing i despise the most its young musicians taking classic tunes and turning them into pop melodies for tweens. I almost died when i overheard a group of girls who heard the original over a speaker in the mall ask who ripped kid rock off ?

Back on topic . . .

Maybe im wrong, perhaps in ten years time we will hear all the stories of the modern rock era and look back at bands like Fall Out Boy and think "wow what an era"

or maybe im ten years time we will look back at the modern rock of now and think "why why why did the record companies sell rocks soul for a few tween metrosexual's jumping around to pop beats disguised as rock.

All i know is that in 20 years time ill be able to answer the question im always asked.

Horsing Around

If there is one thing i admire about man, its our quality to overcome adversity.

A hungry horse got his owner into trouble last night when it treated a local service station as a ride-through snack bar.

Police were searching for the drunken rider after he refused to pay for flowers his horse ate while stopped outside the service station in West Sydney just after 9pm.

Well they found the drunk man and his flower happy horse.

The man, nicknamed "Cowboy" and his horse "Donkey" apologised for the trouble they made last night.

At the time of the incident the man was inside the store making a purchase while the horse ate the two bunches of flowers, each worth $20.

When the attendant confronted the rider, who appeared to be drunk, and asked him to pay, the man refused and a short scuffle erupted.


The police decided not to charge Cowboy with drink riding as no evidence could be found that he was over the limit. The service station staff accepted the apology.

Police have said it probably isn't the last they have seen of Cowboy and Donkey.

So what of overcoming adversity ?

Man loses licence

Man buys horse

Horse gets hungry

Horse eats flowers

Adversity overcome!

My Childhood Education

Like every kid, most of my childhood education was not learnt on a chalk board, it was gained watching television. So i thought id take a look back at some of the shows that shaped me into the weird internet obsessed man i am today.

So here's the list which im sure would be vastly different to your own.

SKIPPY The Bush Kangaroo
For any Australian kid, this was an institution!

Produced from 1966 to 1968 Ninety-one 30-minute episodes were made over the three seasons of production.

It was practicaly mandatory to sit infront of the TV after school watching Skippy and his pal Sonny help people get out of all sorts of trouble. Who could forget Skippy putting out a bushfire, finding the arson suspect and getting home in time for dinner all in one day. She puts all other lazy kangaroo's to shame.

Educational TV helping kids rely on a Kangaroo putting out any fire they see while also knowing if ever in trouble all thats needed is to whistle into a leaf for help to arrive.

It was made before i was born but was repeated on television through the 80's and 90's.

The theme song to the show is known world wide and every kid usto pick up an eucalyptus leaf at some point and try to whistle through it. Didnt they ? I did . . . Hmmm

CHOPPER SQUAD
Anyone who has seen the American series Baywatch would probably have noticed that the format is an obvious rip-off of an Australian series which predated it by over ten years.

Chopper Squad was an action adventure series centred around a helicopter surf rescue team. The series portrays outdoor summer life with copious amounts of sun, surf, sand and bikini babes with a corny script thrown in.

Once again, made before i was born, a concurent theme on TV was to repeat classic shows each afternoon for a new generation of kids. I was about 9 when i watched this and spent many weekends dreaming of becoming a life saver.

The Genie From Down Under
A more modern choice from the mid 90's, this one revolved around an ancient Opal that a british girl finds in an Australian mansion which contains two Australian Genies Bruce and his son Baz.

The show was a success and was later superceded by the originaly named Genie From Down Under 2!

This one had Kangaroo's being kidnaped, sad british accents, slang australian accents (G'Day, Mate at the end of every sentence) and atleast one Kookaburra crowing each episode.

MACGYVER
I cant have a list without an American prime-time classic!

This one needs little description, the man who could do anything, watch him escape from a neuclear facility and then blow it up with nothing but a tooth pick, wrist watch and ball of string.

The theme song for this one is also known by almost anyone who hears it. Find me someone who did not enjoy this show, go on, i dare ya!

FULL FRONTAL / FAST FORWARD
Full Frontal retained the same general format as Fast Forward -Each was formatted like someone continuously channel surfing and after the punchline each sketch would abruptly switch to the next as if someone had switched channels.

It was part of the Australian comedy landscape for some time and launched many actors careers such as Eric Bana, most famous in Australia for his sketch POIDA, most famous elsewhere for TROY.

Needless to say Eric doesnt bring up his past too much when overseas.

and finally . . .


HEY HEY ITS SATURDAY!

Running for 27 years this was the be all and end all for anyone who didnt have a life on a Saturday night. basically a variety show with guests, music, reviews, dares, comedy etc

Most known for the stupid Ostrich named Ozzy and the jerk of a character named Dicky.Hey Hey continued to trudge on for 27 years and frankly, it really started to show.

The same old segments (Chook Lotto, Red Faces, Celebrity Head), the same old people (Plucka Duck, Red, Molly) and Daryl trying to bond with the "younger generation" was always embarrassing.

Those of you overseas, be thankful this one did not reach international syndication its like Letterman hanging with a pink sock puppet.

Well thats it . . . Just a sample of life infront of the TV set while growing up.

Tourists really are absent minded . . .

Today i met an American girl over here in Australia on a holiday. I asked her if she had been to any other countries other than Australia. Well apparently she has, she went to Hawaii a few years back.

If you read the above and you are wondering what the point was, you too are proof im right.

Granted the above was not anything related to Australia but it illustrates my point.

I remember the tourist from the US who asked me if there was a bridge from Australia to New Zealand. I told him he has no need for one, he can swim across when the tide is low.

I remember the guy who wanted to walk from one end the the great barrier reef to the other. Never mind the fact its larger than Italy!

Tourists wondering if there are drugs in vegemite and i read in one newspaper that someone called our tourisim hotline to ask if milk is available all year round ???

It is . . .

Im sure we Australian's are just as daft when we visit America.

So to end this post i figured id submit a few interisting facts about Australia for any future tourists, some i did not consider facts worth telling but upon doing research people seemed surprised at some of the facts below.

-There are 2 kangaroo's for every Australian, they are however mostly outside the urban areas.

-The worlds longest man made structure is in Australia. Its known as the Rabbit Proof Fence. The fence starts at Ceduna in South Australia and follows an erratic course to the New South Wales border. It runs north into Queensland and now terminates near Dalby (Toowoomba area) with a total distance now of 5131 km. Its there to keep rabbits out, and also to stop dingo's killing livestock.



For those of you who say what about the Great Wall Of China ? Well thats a series of walls and is not a single structure.

-35% of Australia's population was born overseas.

-All children attend school until they are atleast 16 and all children have a school uniform to wear which is compulsary.

-If you dont vote in Australia you are fined and risk prison time. Likewise if you dont wear a seatbelt.

Australian Idol Top 12 - Pepe's Pick - Wes Carr

Every year it becomes increasingly difficult to watch Australian Idol. For every fantastic find there are about 20 singers who should have been born mute, hell one girl annoys me when she talks, let alone sings.

There is some light at the end of the Idol tunnel tho, his name is Wes Carr from Sydney.

Carr has created a troublesome identity for himself since he was expelled from school in Adelaide and wound up alone in Sydney at 15.

He became a folk singer doing acoustic sets in Sydney pubs before silverchair drummer Ben Gillies decided to do a side project.

Gillies was introduced to Carr through record company reps and the pair hit it off.
They formed indie rock band tambalanne in 2003, at a time when Daniel Johns called a go-slow on silverchair to indulge his own side project with Paul Mac.

Tambalane gigged around the pub scene but struggled to rise above it with its folk-influenced blend of 60s and 70s classic rock.

An “unpleasant power struggle”, according to Gillies, saw the silverchair veteran dissolve Tambalane in 2005, and Carr go off to do a solo project.

Having struggled with no success as an indie artist, oz idol would be his last throw of the dice.

http://www.myspace.com/wesleycarr

Not in that hat mate!

In typical Australian taste, everything is worth a punt . . .

Sportingbet Australia Market

Wes Carr 3.25
Sophie Paterson 5.00
Madam Parker 7.00
Mark Spano 8.00
Brooke Addamo 9.00
Thanh Bui 11.00
Tom Williams 12.00
Roshani Priddis 12.00
Teale Jakubenko 14.00
Chrislyn Hamilton 16.00
Luke Dickens 21.00
Jonny Taylor 41.00

Movie Piracy Is A Crime - Dont Get Caught

"If you keep watching every leaked clip, you'll ruin the movie for yourself, Mr. Wayne."

A Truly Bittersweet Symphony

So i was kicking back listening to the new Verve album, which kicks ass by the way and it got me thinking about that bittersweet symphony that was the single bittersweet symphony.

The tale goes back to when the single came out in the UK and took over the world . . . The Verve had paid the Rolling Stones the rights to use the violins you hear in the song

Note : McJagger bought the rights to them from a classical composer and used it in a Stones single.

One day jagger was driving through London in his car and heard the Verve's single on the radio and went nuts! Why ? Because when the Verve paid him to use the violins it was with the understanding that they would only be used at the beginning and the end of the song.

As we all know, that didnt happen!

The Verve liked them so much they based the song around the violins and released it. Jagger took them to court twice. The first of which ended with 50% of the singles royalties ( the money made through air play ) going to jagger.

The second case saw the remaining 50% of the royalties go to the Rolling Stones . . .

So in a bittersweet moment the Verve had the hottest track going around radio yet Jagger was making all the money from it.

The verve broke up shortly after and its said one of the key reasons was due to the song bittersweet symphony.

Its no surprise that there official myspace page does not have the song on it as they wont play it again.

So what have we learnt ?

a) Jagger is a money hungry grouch
b) The new Verve album rocks its socks off

Lets hope the Verve make loads of cash off the new single . . . They deserve every cent !

Oh Pickle how i loathe thee . . .

Ever since i was a kid ive had a thing against MacDonalds burgers. Its a flawless argument ive had, the pickle should be a request item and not on every burger. A majority of people take the pickle off the burger before eating it and MacDonalds even released a TV ad showing people taking the burger, removing the pickle and throwing it on the MacDonalds window (The pickle not the burger!)

Today however i found out exactly WHY they do indeed place a pickle on each burger.

The Food Standards Of Australia Board basicaly told the corporates at Mac D's that they were classifying the burgers as "confectionary" due to the high salt, sugar and fat content. Mac D's asked if it could be classified as "Food" if 2 vegetables are on it and they got a yes answer, hence why we have lettuce and a pickle on each burger.

BAN THEM!

BHP corners a new market . . .

Kids . . . God love them . . .

Seems some signs should never see the light of day.

I understand how trying to get a point across can sometimes over shadow a larger issue as was the case when an eco-fuel company in Sweeden advertised how bio friendly there fuel was.

Im 26 and i was curious to give the nozzle a suck myself. It got me thinking on the massive market that could be out there for drinkable petrol. Numerous flavors would be introduced and im sure MacDonalds could give a sample with each Happy Meal.

You could also fill your car and your kid in one stop.

I think im onto something . . .

Go on, take a look you a*hole !

This is a random bitch about those who find it necessary to slow down to see car accidents.

It amazes me that every day i travel to work someone manages to get into a car accident while driving in a straight line. Its not difficult to keep a few metres back from the car in front of you, but no, thats too complicated for some people.

I guess it should be expected seen as tho the RTA give anyone who can reach the pedals a licence.

Its always some a*hole who as an accident in peak hour while some even bigger a*hole slows down to see the result there of.