Baz stys up late to finish his homework

So with Australian Tourisim in ruins thanks to Laura Bingle & her "Where the bloody hell are ya" speech the country did the only thing it could do ...

We turned to you Baz Luhrmann .... Oh great one, master of film .... Fix this god awful mess!

and you answered the call, staying up late to finish your film Australia, I just hope its not Gone With The Wind relocated to the outback!

so we thank you, and hope it outsells Harry Potter ... but if it doesn't we will still love you Baz.

Harry Potter aint got S*IT on this film ...

Our horses are visible and you dont need to witness death to see them!

$390 Million reasons to smile

Scottish film director Guy Ritchie is expected to smile for the first time in eight years after he decided to do his directorial career a favour and divorce Madonna.

Sources close to the director expect the smile to eventually extend to laughter and, one day, a possible guffaw as he recovers from living with a hell cat ....

Madonna’s touch of death is now being applied to New York Yankees third baseman, Alex Rodriguez aka A-Rod, who is said to have been seeing the pop icon for over a year.

For now, all eyes will be on Ritchie’s first smile, which should come courtesy of the $390 million he stands to score as a result no pre-nup . . .

Personaly i feel he should use his share of the money for the following ...

Purpose 1.

Hire people to hunt down and burn every copy of Swept Away, Die Another Day, Dick Tracy, Dangerous Game, Body Of Evidence & The Next Best Thing ....

No wait, dont burn Swept Away, instead use it as warning to all other directors that "This could happen to you" ...

Unless your M Night *one trick pony* Shyamalan, send him the Ritchie film catalogue so he knows not every movie has to have some awe inspiring ending! I mean come on ? Plants attacking humans ????

Next thing we know movies will be made about human germs killing aliens ... oh wait ...

Purpose 2.

Buy the New York Yankee's and ensure A-Rod enjoys every minute of his new 10 year contract.

Have "this usto be my playground" from A League Of There Own repeated through the PA System every time A-Rod gets up to bat.

Purpose 3.

Dedicate your next film Sargent Rock to Cynthia Rodriguez ... Or the soon to be Cynthia Ritchie!

and if any of you needed any reason for purpose 3 to occur ... its below!

Its spelt which way ?

Thankyou Beckeye for giving me an idea for this post.

Its something that often happens, one country spells a word differently to another, then you argue endlessly until someone either walks away or ends up crying into there beer for an hour yelling "why why WHY! are the gods of grammar and punctuation confusing me with so many international versions of one word!"

Refer to the below site for the lessons on numerous words/meanings that differ.

http://www.statsci.org/smyth/ozus.html

It can get confusing, for example when in an elevator ... or LIFT as you wacky American's call it ...

We are on the ground floor... wait wait no ... no its the first floor ... no wait its the ... ?!?!?

America's 1st floor is our Ground Floor, our 1st floor is there 2nd floor ...

Oz floors are US floors less 1 !

Now dont start an argument on who is right and who is wrong, because we all know Australia got it right !!

Lets not even get started on measurements .. how many letres in a gallon ????

As you can tell from the web site, the list is endless.

Who knew the english language varied so much country to country ...

now im off for a pint of beer with my fairy floss and sultanas ....

Ps - Sterilisation Sterilisation STERILISATION!!!!

Cant get them outa my head

I figured id list my top 6 songs released reciently that i cant get out of my head.

6. Kaz James feat Macy Gray - Cant Hold Back (AUS)
http://www.kazjames.com.au/releases/home.do?catalogueNo=88697365492
5. The Panics - Dont Fight It (AUS)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_cK_cIydHY
4. MGMT - Kids - (USA)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIEOZCcaXzE
3. Jack White/Alicia Keys - Another Way To Die (USA)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM5UJvnbbuY
2. Coldplay - Lost (Live session 2008) (ENG)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-RjMRP5IbI
1. Coldplay - Strawberry Swing (ENG)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebeZ2XjUpIs

Conspiracy Theory #1 Tina Fey Incognito ?

I just turned on Fox News and Sarah Palin was batteling Joe Biden for VP votes

Hmmm

I still think Tina Fey is running for VP incognito ....

No no, hear me out, heres how i see it, Tina unlike many other celebs doesnt want her celebrity status to gain her votes as that would be unfair, hence the alias.

It wouldnt be hard to do, quick trip up to Alaska, shoot a few deer, smile for the camera, pay a white trash family (inc preggers daughter) to pose for the cameras.

Im onto something ....

Bye Bye Mr Blunt

James Blunt fan ? Well you wont like this story then ...

Many say his debut single is the most annoying ever written.

Now he’s offered something worth while But it’ll cost ya.

Blunt has told Uncut magazine that he will stop singing if he’s paid enough.

He said: “Listen, I’m a reasonable human being. If people pay me enough, I’ll stop playing my music.”

But he’s not happy that people don’t like him.

During the interview he gets all Gordon Ramsay with some food metaphor:

“If someone puts some chocolate cake in front of you and you don’t like it, but there’s some cheesecake to the right, would you start screaming at the chef? Just eat the cheesecake without calling the chef the Antichrist.”

Surely you can have your cake and scream at the chef?

The Sun is trying to raise money to help Blunt fulfil his promise.

It’s time for Australians to dig deep. Forget the world economic crisis, petrol and grocery prices.

These are terrible, terrible things. And how much worse are they if you have to suffer the whining drone of another potential James Blunt hit in every supermarket nationwide?

That will crack this great nation.

A dollar a day people, it’s all thats asked.

and now numerous subliminal ad's from our sponsors ...

If you watched the 2007 ARIA awards and thought to yourself ‘You know what I’m hankering for? Some Chupa Chups and KFC. And I might just buy a new Toyota while I’m out’, then you were victim of subliminal advertising.

The local paper is reporting that the Australian Communications and Media Authority has found Network Ten guilty of flashin up sponsor logos during the braodcast.

CREEPY.

CREEPIER ? The article i got the above information from was the sydney morning herald who are champions at allowing advertisements to flash up on screen while your reading the news.

So boys ... dont be so harsh on the TV stations, they got the idea from you in the first place.

Dont you just love how one sided news paper reporters can be ? Thats why i just write a blog, there im expected to be one sided.